Three Common Divorce Myths
Having seen countless divorce cases and counseled many divorce clients, there are a few common myths that many clients tend to believe. Sometimes these myths are a result of misinformation and sometimes they are just misconceptions of the divorce process. Regardless of their origin, it is important to understand the truth behind them.
First, many people tend to believe that if they don't have custody they will become the "weekend parent". This myth is often believed by fathers. They tend to believe that custody is an "all or nothing" venture. The truth is that there are no limits to the ways in which custody and visitation arrangements can be structured, assuming the child's needs are being met. Additionally, it is very common for parents to share custody and share in the decisions regarding a child's upbringing. Rather than focusing on the total time spent with children, parties should focus on the child's schedules and the best way to spend quality time with the child.
A second myth is common in cases where one party feels like they have been wronged and they "deserve" more property such as the house, the money in the bank accounts, and any other items of value. They further believe that the other spouse should not take anything and should be forced to shoulder the debts of the marriage. The truth is that unless there is a financial aspect to the wrongdoing, a party's actions will have little or no bearing on the distribution of assets.
A third myth surrounding divorce is that the wife always gets the house. The truth is that the distribution of assets should be equitable and fair. In cases in which the marital home is the only significant asset awarding the house to the wife would not be fair to the husband. There are some cases in which it is not financially possible for one party to keep the house and the other party to maintain his or her own residence. In those cases the judge may order the house to be sold. It should be kept in mind that if there are small children in the home, a court may not want to disrupt the lives of the children by forcing a move where it is not reasonably necessary. In those cases, the parent of primary residence may end up with the marital residence.
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